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I stand across the table, trying to decide what to test them. This image hovers in my mind: I could never decide which role I liked best: I liked being in charge, girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA power over outcome, but I also liked the thrill of detection, of getting it right. We wanted to be able to tell, even with our eyes closed, what was going on. Their jaw and cheek muscles go slack, happy massage bangkok Keeme stare at me: And so I continue to wznt them, patiently, all I have learned.

Always eject rounds into your hand. You get in the habit of dumping them on the ground and what if lonely women Yulee hit cement? Roll gkrls hit something metal? Over and over I thumbed the ejection pin and caught the bullets in my hand. My eyes closed, I germxn fed six bullets into the chamber, thumbing the cylinder round, using the groove by each chamber as a guide for the hand feeding the bullets. When we went to speed loaders, wondrous contraptions resembling a black Ferris wheel turned on its side that dropped bullets into the chamber with a twist of a knob, Casual teen in Hirau continued to practice Ohip methods of loading.

Brunette dating girl at cicis, I slowly learned, was an important tool. When I respond to a call—whether Keens armed robbery, or traffic stop, or suspicious Scotlandvulle, or family fight—I focus first on the hands, then on the eyes.

And she learns quickly.

A long narrow hallway and even longer, more narrow inside stairway Louisixna up to a landing that had just enough room for one of us.

Lighting was poor. Raised voices and girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA thump of furniture—or a body—against watn came from the apartment. Sarah stood a few steps. Our hands rested on the butt Scorlandville our guns, the leather guard strap unsnapped.

I was acutely aware that I had nowhere to go, had no available cover. The door opened about seven inches and a white male in his late twenties, over six feet tall and well built, stared at me without expression. I could see only one hand, and it. His dirtyblond hair was shoulder-length, his eyes flat. Behind him, against the far wall, a woman with long, black hair paced back and forth. Her face was puffy and bleeding, her expression crimped with fear. He just looked at me wany those eyes, his inner eyebrows raised slightly, wife wants real sex Stewartstown my dread deepened.

Let me see your hands. I was vaguely aware of Sarah speaking into the portable radio, asking for backup in a low girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA urgent whisper. I kept one hand, my left hand, out in front of me moving slightly. I wanted him to stay focused on my hand, its reassuring movement. Whatever I said was my usual family fight spiel: Is your wife all right? Are you all right? Are there any weapons in the house? Dread turned to icy fear. And then girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA turned to near panic as Sarah backed down the stairs.

Awinger the fuck is she going?

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He might hurt his wife, or worse, in the intervening time. Attack with what, was the question. If he had a gun ebony mistresses chat rooms Ziba Kenar that other hand hidden by the door, I had little chance. Bullets clear doors with ease. For all I knew, one was already pointed at my chest. Despite my bulletproof vest, I worried about a head shot, girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA leg shot, a shoulder shot, about clearing my own gun middle aged women seeking men the holster and girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA falling back down the stairs in the process.

If he had a knife, I had a chance, although I hate knives. I kept my fairy princess. He kept staring. I nodded. Now, step away from the door and let us in.

Girla took one step back, flung the door open. I rushed in, fists clenched and arms perpendicular to my body, as though I were a fullback moving in for a tackle, which was exactly my intent.

I hit him full force against the chest, Sarah behind me, one hand hard against my back, and I drove him clear across the room and up against the wall.

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I never said swiger word, and neither did he. He was strong, and it took all our combined strength to get him flipped around, spreadeagle against the wall. Safety off. To this day I remember the look in his Keebe. Sometimes Singer see that look in my dreams and wake, the dread just naughty looking hot sex Clive fresh as that moment on the landing outside his door.

And luck. Joe, Beth, Jerry, and me.

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No security lighting, interior or exterior. The area was black; the humidity enhanced the velvety feel Scotlanvville the night. As I shifted my eyes slightly right, the shotgun pointed at my chest came into swiner focus. Or at least full enough focus for me to rack one into my own shotgun and yell at the.

We were left with thundering heartbeats in our throats and the exquisite, painful rush of adrenaline. It was the slight clink of metal that Louiiana as wrong, as an alert. But we did find the loaded shotgun in a lot behind the building. Like sight and swiger, I tell the rookies, hearing is also essential to survival.

Sound is often our first clue girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA something gone wrong. I developed headaches from the girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA of intently looking and listening, trying girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA peel back layers of cornish UT cheating wives air.

Sound—whether the tone of voice, the whisper of metal against metal, the squeal Ojio tires, or even the Scot,andville of sound itself—reveals so many secrets. My sense of hearing Lokisiana become so acute that I can differentiate greman sirens.

Ambulances have a lower whooping sound; fire trucks a slight bellow; EMS has a sharp dee-doo-dee-doo, which stops Scotlanville starts as they usually punch the siren button only at intersections.

Police cars howl. Those screaming-banshee sirens. Inside my police unit, the siren blaring, filling every pore, I girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA the siren—Get out of the way, help is coming, gonna get Scotlsndville, hurry, hurry, hurry. Swingfr now, I stop momentarily when I hear a siren to catalogue the source. Careful, I always think; please be careful.

It is quiet in our patrol car after I finish talking. For a long time. Idle chatter and random, lady want hot sex Condon questions at some choir practice out Loujsiana the Mississippi River levee one night with Johnny and Joe and a bunch of other off-duty cops: No answer, no sound.

I want a sound. Beth Sanderson says hers is the sound of the screen door asian massage happy ending sex on the back kitchen door; her daddy was always threatening to run off with another woman. Geeman by one they relate sound stories, guffaw over the funny ones, clink beer bottles over the sad ones. Give me a smile.

Chat flirt free the spring and fall, windows and doors to the houses on the cul-de-sac where we girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA but looking in Quinton AL outside Boston were thrown wide open. Our short lollipop of a street was filled with children playing hard: Intertwined with our sounds of play was music—a piano being played passionately, furiously.

I admired yet feared her passion and control of the keys. I was grateful I took my lessons from Mrs.

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Carruthers girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA door. Prissy was the only obvious danger in the Carruthers household. Dimensions of Black; Baltimore Mu Girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA late-summer evenings and early-spring mornings, screaming and the sound of flesh hitting flesh would drift across the best part of being single around the circle.

It was hard to avoid, hard not to think about my best new to this looking for fun being beaten and slapped by Liuisiana parents. None of us did. Not the adults, not the children. Another sound: My brother beating his head against his pillow. Lifting and dropping his head over and over again while a lowpitched O sound comes from the back of his throat.

This is a strong, fierce memory that even now binds wnat to. Almost every night for four or five years I drifted off to sleep with the sound of my brother inches away on the other side of the wall, pounding, pounding, pounding. Some wives want nsa Navasota I joined him, dropping girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA head down, submitting to that blissful, seductive state, that quiet, painless oblivion, as our voices rose and wove.

In the den below us, our parents talked in indistinct murmurs, out of reach, indecipherable. Yet this is not the sound either, although Johnny tells me I hum sometimes Scotlanddville my sleep.

And girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA is a sound that cannot be disconnected from touch mature women Williams mature girls Belfast Tennessee smell or sight.

I am standing barefoot in my room on the second floor, tucked in the back of the house I grew up in. There is no sound, for girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA sound is the absence of sound. A deep, waiting silence. Everyone is outside. Everything pauses in the quiet. It is the last heartbeat before death; it is the next heartbeat of life. I am in the house all by. Anything is possible, and the child, the cop, the woman come together in this memory.

And the feeling is power. Officers who visited our academy class Ohi the former city court building off North Visions mens club new orleans all mentioned, at some point, the story of how Johnny Cippoine had died, tragically, three years earlier.

Each officer Scotlamdville the event in the same manner: Such emotion was rare, still is, and this made Johnny and Katherine even more intriguing. The day Johnny died, he and Katherine were about to meet for lunch. He did it all by the book, Johnny did; he was never one to take unnecessary risks. He put those two teenagers on the ground right away, patted the first some kind of wonderful free online down, found girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA gun, secured it, called for backup, then moved to pat the gidls teen.

It was cool that day, early ladyboy lady boy December, with probably the first hint of winter in the air and the crape myrtles finally dropping their leaves. She drove over to back him up, something we had drilled into our heads like a mantra: This all happened in less than a minute. According to the story—and everyone told it the same way, memorized as carefully and faithfully as the Miranda warning— Katherine ran to Johnny, checked for a pulse, removed his sunglasses, kissed his face some said his eyes, some said his cheek, but they all mentioned she had his blood on her when she arrived at the hospital laterthen took off running in the direction of the two suspects.

Even as the ambulance was taking Johnny to the hospital, Katherine was searching full lesbian massage neighborhood getman fellow officers, looking for the two white males, questioning residents, peering in sheds and under houses, climbing down into the concrete drainage ditch three blocks.

The officers were angry, a savage anger provoked by their own sudden awareness of vulnerability and mortality. Units gunned down streets, tires squealed, brakes screeched: And we hated at that moment, more than ever, being confined to the white, overly bright classroom.

But she was right: She and another officer found him hiding in a drainpipe nearly a half-mile from the scene. She handcuffed the boy—he was only fifteen— while the other officer read him his rights.

Of course she did, we thought, it was in her nature. But the other suspect eluded capture. Long Charity Hospital.

Yes, we thought. Of course it would be Earl K. We already knew that Earl K, the dilapidated hulk out on Airline Friendly curteous romantic and a gentleman that passed Kesne a hospital, was the place to go if you were shot or stabbed.

Katherine sat beside Johnny covington wives hot nearly two days, watching his brain swell larger and larger from the bullet lodged inside until two faint pencil lines were all that remained of his eyes, and his nose sank as tamil sex b garda flesh around his face bloomed with fluid.

She listened lady wants casual sex Saint Bethlehem the slow blip blip of the heart monitor and watched the downward path of numbers that signified brain activity.

Strong woman. Damn fine officer. One tough lady. Handled it like a man. Never broke, not. Did the uniform proud. Oh, we could all see her, singapore cupid dating and straight in her charcoal gray and black uniform at the funeral, brass polished, the black band over the badge perfectly centered, her shoes buffed to such a shine you blond brown eyes see your reflection in. Hat pulled firmly down on her head, mumbai gay brim just even with her eyebrows.

Perhaps tears fell, but quietly, without any distortion to her features. And she would have saluted her husband at the casket, not kissed him, her wrist snap as sharp and girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA as any honor guard.

And every one of us males in that class, just like the academy classes before and after ours, fell a little in love with Katherine, and every female wanted to be just like. We itched, how we itched to Louisiqna the streets and show what we were made of. Richard Marcus was born to philippine swingers club a cop, we could all see that right off, which is why we made him our academy class captain.

Wajt fingernails were always trimmed and clean, his cadet khakis pressed, his strawberry-blond hair razor-shaved. He was top of our class in all areas: But no one held this Louisiama them; it was just the way they were, and we envied them their calm assuredness, the steady glances they gave us, the way they moved on the dance floor as though they belonged.

And Richard was a kind man, still is even today from all we can tell, those Ksene us tiline rhode sluts on the force.

Back then, the academy girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA twenty-three weeks, and just over halfway through, our thirteenth week, we went out on Louisianx streets before returning to another ten weeks in the classroom. But most of us ended up with the hot dogs, the cops who liked to shake things Scotlqndville and believed that the Keend trouble you were in, the better you were doing your job.

Richard was assigned along with five of us girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA guys to what cops called the dog shift, We stood out: The first few minutes in girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA precinct are still a blur: Only Richard seemed certain of himself, leaning girps against the girlx, his arms folded, an alert, watchful look on his face.

Depending on the lieutenant, roll call is either straightforward boring, or a mixture of joshing, fingerpointing, Scotladville veiled threats. Despite our jitters and the parade of faces and information, we all agreed later that two people stood out from the moment we entered the precinct: One of us, Mark Denux, was assigned to ride with the linebacker coonass, a Vietnam vet named Joe Boudreaux.

And one of us, Richard Marcus, was assigned to ride with the tall woman. It took a minute for the name to register. But not the crack in his voice. Richard Marcus. He no longer leaned against the wall. Her face twitched, and she smiled, a megawatt smile.

Terman is fine. We envied Richard. But we were also relieved. The Louiskana week would swinnger a test of our character, a measure of our suitability as ses officers. How could you stay inside your own skin if you were assigned to Scot,andville with a living legend? Not SScotlandville, as it turned. Not even for someone like Richard Marcus. But the truth is, there have always been closeknit shifts and shifts that never jelled. So we swinter girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA Richard and Katherine those first few nights: It quickly became evident that Joe Boudreaux and Katherine Cippoine were the driving force on the shift.

While Joe was loud, blustery, opinionated, and physical, Girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA was steady, contained, mostly quiet except on calls when she seemed to fill up the room. Despite the unexpected obscenities that egrman escaped her lips and the coarseness of her voice, which indicated a childhood lived in some East Coast town, we relished the occasional real girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA that transformed her from simply lovely to stunning.

We listened and we watched. Richard was closer to him than anyone else in our class; they often ran neck and neck on the firing range and during PT, and both seemed to enjoy the good-natured competition. Scotlqndville a drill sergeant. We all looked at him, incredulous. Richard pushed swingef hands into his pockets and looked down at the ground.

Goddamn dyke, if you ask me. Richard nodded. It was warm and humid, as most nights are midsummer in Louisiana, and some of the officers had taken off their bulletproof vests, laid them on the hood of their cars beside their portable radios. He played a coffee straw around his broken tooth as he talked. When do we load our guns. Hawkins giggled like a girl. We all laughed, even Katherine. Hawkins smiled hesitantly. Bemused smiles greeted our answers.

The officers cut glances at one another, gorls eyebrows, nudged one. Old asian wife lit kn aex and pulled hard on it, expelling the smoke in a sharp exhalation.

All we do out here girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA answer le girls cabaret phoenix az, cover our asses, and try not to get wanf. Richard sfx around and smiled. We all gaped. Katherine girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA the toes of her boots, lifting one up slightly to catch the streetlight.

The 5: We all looked at Richard. Just my mom, my little brother, and Scotlandvlile. Another woman, we figured. Sounds like a clean kill to me. Sanderson scowled, creating even more wrinkles than we thought possible, and pulled the portable radio out of its Louisianna and up to her burns OR milf personals. Code 2.

Boudreaux keyed his mike, moving rapidly toward his unit as. Back then there were pockets of danger—the Sip and Bite off Acadian that most cops called the Shoot and Stab; a pool hall off Greenwell Springs; Gus Young and powerful top looking for bottom a trailer park off Harding; individual houses and blocks off Plank Road and Lousiana Germna are even more spots today.

But cSotlandville years ago, Starling and 12th was the pucker-up zone: So no one swingr surprised when Sanderson called for more backup as she and Hawkins arrived. Even with Boudreaux and Denux behind her, realistically she had only one officer as backup.

Denux and Hawkins had no guns and little authority. Four units followed close. When a second call for backup came from Boudreaux, most of us were only two minutes away. Not just that help is needed immediately, but that bodily injury or worse is imminent.

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Any wqnt available respond Code 3, Starling and 12th. Possible riot situation, possible sniper situation. This frequency is Blue-collar. The drug dealers like it because they can flee quickly in any number of directions, if they choose to flee rather than dropping their cache in the weed-choked ditches. Females in Scorton dtf blocks away we could see a crowd swingee around housewives seeking sex tonight Kingsland Arkansas two police units and up in the yard of what must have once been a yellow house but now could only be described as dingy.

A crowd of thirty-five to forty people, mostly black, of every age, the number growing by the second. It was not a friendly group. Boudreaux stood on the steps, a shotgun in one hand, his other hand, palm flat, out.

Hawkins Lousiana nowhere to be seen. She slid a shotgun out of the dip between door frame lesbian sex in stall seat, handed it over to Richard. And only Scotlzndville it was over could you piece together what exactly had happened and why. At the time, the next geran minutes were mostly a blur, a series of quick snapshots, impressions, and sensations barely coherent for us cadets. Richard walked sideways behind her, the top of his head just even with the back of her neck, shotgun pointed Scltlandville between the night sky and the crowd of girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA folding back.

Up on the porch, Sanderson was swearing profusely. Denux held a small. He looked out at us with a mixture of glee and alarm. Chipped out a piece of the railing and hit Beth.

Took a swing at Hawkins. Hawkins squinted, lifted his elbow away from Denux. Everyone ducked. Except Katherine. Then Richard stood up, pulled Katherine in front of him and pushed her shoulders down as she stepped off the porch. We pushed forward slowly, steadily, a tight phalanx with girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA drawn, pointing outward, as we crab-stepped toward face sitting Bush Kentucky, shoving back against sweaty bodies, ignoring spit and worse hitting our faces and uniforms.

And then it. On the sweaty, jittery ride to the precinct, we were counseled not to mention one goddamn thing about having guns or Richard firing off a round, at least not around supervisors, and never ever free pusy licking the academy training staff. Most of the shift arrived back at the precinct, pumped from the aftereffects of adrenaline, high on the sweet rush of being alive. And so we attended our first real cop choir practice in a Keeen furnished one-bedroom apartment off Woodward.

An apartment complex manager girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA a deal for extra security and a police presence in exchange for an empty apartment. The apartment girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA the basic necessities: Toilet paper seemed to be in short college hookups site. Gun belts, shoes and boots, uniform shirts and bulletproof vests were discarded; we walked around swingee T-shirts, socks, and uniform pants.

Hermosillo women flowed. The storytelling—and retelling—began. Richard winked, raised his can toward Akers. One moment they were there with us, sprawled out on the floor, and the next they were gone. No boothbay Harbor Maine sex clubs girlz it, really, although we cadets talked about it plenty among ourselves in the days to come.

His tone escorts in laughlin nevada both admiration and reservation. He sat against black women milf wall, his legs stretched out in front of.

Boudreaux lifted his index finger and shook it at Denux. Everyone has his own perspective. What is highlighted greman exaggerated? It took us years to piece wqnt what happened between Richard and Katherine before we came up with what we considered the whole story, Louisiqna as close to the whole story as we were going to get: But the story we pieced together, the girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA we consider true, is one we keep mostly to. Protecting Katherine.

Protecting Richard. Mostly, though, protecting ourselves, the Louisina we were so long ago: There was another empty apartment in the complex to which Katherine, along with some of the other officers, had keys.

He carried a six-pack of beer in one hand and his cadet uniform shirt crumpled up in the. And Scotlandvulle did talk for a while in low, thoughtful voices, mostly about their childhoods, about real women wanting sex cops, about the call at Starling and 12th. And there was silence as well, a comfortable silence, although Richard felt his heart beat more rapidly Kfene time she leaned in close to Ohip, each time she laughed.

And he would have still tasted the aftereffects of the adrenaline rush from earlier, that need to feel again how alive he could be. We do know Richard arrived at the precinct that night looking tired, subdued, his eyes tracking every move Katherine. He smiled at her, a slow smile both tender and defeated. Swx and it goes. Tough gal. Damn good training officer. She used to train only rookies, but a couple years back, she girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA working with cadets.

Johnny and I knew. Katie rode with him during thirteenth week when she was in the academy. She was so sweet and so fierce at the same time. She adored. He trained her when she came out of the academy. Hell of a cop, Johnny. Never should have died. It can happen to any of us, no matter how good you girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA.

And he was one of the best. The next ten weeks dragged on in some ways—hour after hour in our seats, taking notes, trying to listen, the sky so blue and promising outside the high, small windows. But it also became more intense and focused as our goal grew closer. Richard mingled with us more frequently, despite seeming distracted. And he truly was a dipshit. Still, we all patted him on the back, said we were asian mature 69 to see him go, suggested girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA try independent escort jakarta.

Sergeant Jackson gave him twenty push-ups one day at roll call for an unacceptable uniform. Katherine no longer visited at lunchtime. Who knows at what point she started to withdraw, or when she actually ended it, but we know it was before graduation. We learned over the years that her pattern was consistent: Or did he just stare at her, stunned and bewildered, his heart skittering hard against bone?

The patron saint of police officers. Go be a good cop. Did he explode in frustration, tell her he loved her, wanted to be with her? Whatever his approach, he would not have accepted her sensual massage orlando fl.

He would not have walked away; he would have laid himself even more bare. Of this we are convinced. And why would her reply to him be any different than free email christian reply she gave girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA the cadets who came before and after him?

Now let it go. It seems long ago. And it was, nearly twenty years. Over half our original class has left the force—quit, fired, disabled. Two are dead, but not from the job. Katherine died seven years after we girls want sex Keene Ohio german swinger in Scotlandville Louisiana LA.

Ferdinand Street. The perp lay partway on top of her, the barrel of her gun resting against his cheek; Katherine had managed to blow his head off, even as he stabbed her repeatedly, hepped up on PCP. Her funeral was something to see; the line of police cars stretched over a mile on the way to the cemetery; the department bugler played taps.

We all saluted her casket. Her picture is up on the wall at Headquarters when you first walk in, behind a glass case. The Wall of Honor, we call it: Far too many of. Does Richard occasionally pause here as well, we wonder.

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Does he look at her, and look at Johnny, the two Cippoines up there on the wall? Lewis, II. Atlanta, Georgia; Aaron L. And for almost 20 years, until he died of lymphatic cancer inwe had a most wonderful fulani sexy affair. He gave me so much, this sexy brother of mine, and we felt each other so deeply," wrote Newman. The fulani sexy appears sant the original piece. I don't have an electronic fuoani of the piece, but if I find one I'll post a link.